Domestic abuse (DA) is defined as a pattern of persistent behaviour that is used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner or ex-partner. This can include physical, sexual, emotional, economic and/or psychological actions or threats of actions which can be complex and intertwined.

Domestic abuse usually happens repeatedly, with the abusive partner making various attempts to gain control. It often gets worse over time, and for many it can continue even after the relationship has ended.

It’s important to be able to recognise the signs of domestic abuse and to reach out for help when you can:

• Emotional abuse may involve: undermining your sense of self-worth through verbal abuse such as constant criticism, belittling, name-calling; emotional blackmailing, guilt-tripping and gaslighting; embarrassment or humiliation, being put down in front of others; isolation from friends and family by attempting to convince you that you are a bad mother/ daughter/ friend and that the abuse is your fault.
• Physical and/or sexual abuse may involve: pushing, hitting, punching, choking; using a weapon to threaten or hurt you, threatening death, destroying your belongings; forcing you to leave your home or preventing you from leaving, calling police or seeking medical attention; sexual assault, rape, forcing: unprotected sex, imitation of pornography, sex with others or non-consensual dissemination of intimate images (fka “revenge porn”).
• Economic abuse may involve: making or attempting to create financial dependence by maintaining control over financial resources. This may include: withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment, being forced to borrow money, make benefits claims and/or poor credit ratings.

Please note this list is on-exhaustive. Other forms of abuse may include, but are not limited to: honour based violence and abuse; forced marriage; trafficking; stalking and harassment; online and digital abuse.

Unfortunately, domestic abuse is fairly common, with one in four women in Scotland having experienced domestic abuse at some point in their lives. Domestic abuse can affect any woman regardless of race, class, age, religion, sexuality, ability, income, lifestyle or location.

In 2021-22 there were 64,807 incidents of domestic abuse, according to the Official Statistics publication for Scotland, making it the greatest single demand on Police Scotland.

Abusers who use alcohol and drugs may try to use this as an excuse for their behaviour and they may behave more dangerously towards their victim when they have been using alcohol or drugs. However, it should be noted that evidence shows that it is not the root cause of the abuse. Substance misuse does not excuse abusive behaviour.

You may be. We want to dispel the outdated myth that domestic abuse manifests solely through physical harm or violence. Domestic abuse is not just about anger, it’s about power and control over another person.

The term “coercive control” is used to describe the common pattern of psychological abuse involving the use of intimidation or mind games. It may involve, but is not limited to, an abusive partner controlling where you go, who you see, what you wear and eat; monitoring your phone and internet activity; or even threatening self-harm.

Of course. Often, abuse only starts when a relationship is well established, with this abuse worsening over time. Abusers are skilled manipulators and will wear down their victims so that they no longer feel entitled to safety and so it is important that you contact us as soon as possible.

If you are worried about your device being monitored, try to use a family member or friend’s device, an inexpensive or spare phone that your (ex-)partner is unaware of, or a work phone or email, to contact us. If that’s not possible, we offer an in-person drop-in service at our office.

Once referred, our team will also make a note on whether your phone number or email is safe to call, text or email your back on, and note any other relevant details.

Of course. We can discuss the situation to try and support you to support the person you are concerned about.